I learned a new perspective today and it has changed my whole life. Literally in just a moment. Let me start at the very beginning — a very good place to start (did you sing it too?).
Life growing up and even into aging was different, difficult and interesting. I am very thankful for the skills I have because of it. Also glad I know that I know that changing it is not an option. I saw it. Felt it. Thought about it in detail including what I got from it — both the awful and the awesome. Kept what needed keeping. Changed what needed changing. Oh and threw out what needed gone. Revamped, rewired, renewed. Got up and went on.
Still I find times and places that show me where I still have ‘things’ that I am not free from. When something goes wrong I am pretty good, assess it, go through the above process, get up and go on. When things go right, took me a little longer, yet now I can work through the above process. It is great.
I am happy to feel what comes up when I am in different situations. Sit with it. Be responsible for me. Take responsibility in how I deal with people around me. So glad for this.
Today…
Today was one of those rare days when I got hit with a whole bunch of feelings all at once. It felt like hitting a brick wall. It physically hurt. I saw all the things I had desired and not seen manifest. I saw all I worked towards and where it is not yet.
I saw the people who commented — good, bad and indifferent. I saw people from my past speaking things over me, about me and into my life which were less than ideal to say the least. I saw it all. I allowed myself to feel it. Afterall I am an adult now and safe being me.
I cried.
I then quietly told all that to be on its merry way. I thought about how far things have come since making dog snacks in the shed. I thought about how far I have come from someone that would shut down because she didn’t believe she could be anything other than worthless.
I thought about how much I have changed from someone that was too scared to live. I thought about all I have achieved. I thought about successes — even the tiny little ones. I thought about how very thankful I am to be me. I remembered the goals, the dream and the reason for both.
I smiled then I cried again. Very thankful for everything.
I read 8 simple words at that point. “That’s not a brick wall. That’s a checkpoint.” I let it sink in. Sat with it. And something interesting happened.
I looked at all the different places where we are used to seeing ‘checkpoints’. In school – tests. In martial arts – gradings. In fitness – new challenges. In shedding weight – weighing and measuring. In parenthood – almost daily. In business – customer feedback, financials, productivity, stability.
I saw everything, including places in my childhood and different places up to now differently. They were not brick walls graffitied with failure, chaos, worthlessness. They were checkpoints where I assessed (not always rightly) and moved on. They were and remain places to sit, think, feel, evaluate and go on from.
Today, finally, I see this (as I do most everything) as an opportunity.
I hope you can too.
Embrace the process — Enjoy the ride.
