It is almost 3 years since I began the process that has led to me being here, at This That & Those, running multiple project lines due to the nature of the area we live and the needs here.
For over 2 years I have told the story of the business and how I see it could/would be. I could see and feel it as I shared with those that would visit and ask questions. I have no doubt I was meant to do this at this time at this place.
However, I would sabotage the stuffin’ out of it and did not even realise it. Interesting how you cannot fix what you cannot see.
I sat and took an honest, hard and in-depth look at the business. Whilst I initially thought there was nothing big to change. I was wrong. I needed big changes and then the business could change. As part of the ‘growing into me’ I have been doing, healing, renewing and leaving the old ways I realised something.
Just because no one could see the chaos or hidden things they still knew ‘something’ was off. How? Because all the dysfunction came from me. An honest and accurate reflection, maybe even extension, of how I saw me, my perceived value. I was putting that out there and wondered why I got it back in equal proportions.
I was pointed to a youtube video which pointed rather bluntly, the fact that sabotage is directly linked to my perceived opinion of me. OUCH!
Fast forward through. I looked at the way I treated the environment around me, the time I had, the way I presented to others in appearance, the way I showed up in social circumstances and relationships I had. I took stock of how things were, how they were seen and how I wanted them to be.
Changed how I perceived me (this took some work). Changed to a new way of being and doing. So glad these changes have had a monumental impact. On me, on relationships and on the business. This past couple of months I can see huge improvements and others can too, even if they have no idea what or why..
I realised I was relating to what I built as no more than someone responsible for it. A separate thing from me entirely. I dealt with my ego — I never realised the ego was the negative talk too. Actually anything that was based on what story we tell ourselves and not what is real. Amazing some of the stories we tell ourselves from childhood.
The biggest change? I am now relating to what I have built as someone who belongs within it. I have chills still when I say that. I am no longer separating me from This That & Those. I am an important part of the picture I’ve been building and there is a little of me in every part.
Things have been getting done that I have looked at or looked past for a long time. I look at This That & Those with a warmth that goes all the way through me. I see it an extension of the values, goals and vision I have long held to.
I am very thankful for the paths that have brought me here. That there’s no longer a part of me standing outside the very things I value most. I always belonged, now I know it.
Have a sweetly liberating and beautifully memorable week ahead of you.
Embrace the process — Enjoy the ride.
