Although I was good at sport, I was that child that stood there waiting to be picked. Usually I was last. Not because of athletic ability or lack thereof, yet because of the relationship I did not have with the others at school. Or rather the level and kind of relationship I did have.
I have met up with adults that have apologised for how severely they were abusive to me in high school. Some even saying they did not know how I survived. And yet the gifts I received from those days I am so thankful for. I learned how to exist, go the distance, play hard, fight, focus on things I wanted and much more.
In recent years I realised they were treating me like I was. They echoed what I thought. They were more open about it, yet still a reflection of perfect symmetry. The life skills, people skills, and communication skills I now have were born of this era of my life.
Recently, I realised some pretty powerful things. I have been growing over the past 20 years and finally worked out how to pick me first. I see me and realise what value I really have and the strengths and gifts I have to offer others. I can show up and stand tall.
I pick me first at home, doing what needs done and what I said I would do. I pick me at work, showing up and doing/being real and how business is changing because of it.
More importantly I pick me for me. For the quiet times where I just am. For the busy times where I am confident. For the times of supporting others without reserve. For the times of leadership where I calmly step in and be the woman, use the skills and speak the words needed. Listening, giving and restoring.
I finally worked out that if we are going to have chaos I can now have organised chaos. Growing daily in these skills.
Here is what I want to share with you — I started by picking me in the smallest ways for me. If I did not want something I did not have it. If I wanted something I got it.
If I saw something I once walked over (physically, mentally or emotionally) I would look at it, know it will take less than 2 minutes to do, and do what needed done. That is now sometimes takes 10 or 20 minutes and sometimes an hour or two and still easy.
The more I pick me, the easier it gets. The more I am there for me the more I can be there for others. I can now build community. This new life is amazing. So excited.
Have the most super delightfully surprisingly rewarding and sweetly memorable day.
I believe in every one of you — you are here because you belong.
Embrace the process. Enjoy the ride.
